Lover's Quarrel: The Mennonites and Me—A Testimony
by Ken Yoder Reed

Review by Joseph L Lapp, President Emertus Eastern Mennonite University

Lover's Quarrel is the story of the author's life journey from a rural, close-knit religious community to the open communities of education, the arts, and urban living as he searches for his own religious faith, vocation and family. The author engages in extensive personal introspection as he describes the various stages of his life.

I have known Reed as a college classmate, having collaborated on an underground newspaper as we bucked our alma mater's legalism—particularly the college newspaper's censorship. As students, we wanted to break the bonds of the close-knit religious community to learn about the world beyond Mennonite-ism. As someone more widely read than I, Reed, with his excellent gift of words, developed our underground paper into a temporary, successful prod. Within a short time, the censorship barrier was removed for the regular college newspaper.

Persons from close-knit social, cultural, and religious communities will identify with Reed's journey of life. Experiencing the “outside” is frequently necessary for young, exploring adults to know the various opportunities available –the choice of vocation, life partner, sexual preferences, religious faith, etc. Throughout this memoir, Reed speaks of the good and bad choices he made on his journey. When reflecting on the church issues at Haight Ashbury Mennonite Fellowship, Reed is very respectful. Unless a reader is part of the Mennonite world they may not understand the root issue since the author is rather circumspect regarding the specifics.

Though Reed acknowledges he was not comfortable with the choices of Haight Ashbury MF, he also recognizes that “I hadn't left the concerns of the Mennonites behind” particularly when he refers to the current linkage of many Christian churches with the civil/political world. Perhaps it is implicit in Reed's story, I would have welcomed a more explicit discussion of how Christian faith is influenced by culture, community, and family of origin even though we claim a “believer's” decision for faith.

Having known Ken Reed and having read much of his writing, I encourage others to read this memoir. Many baby boomers will find the book to be similar to their own pilgrimage through life. Younger persons may see that their struggles in life are not unique but as old as the world.

I received Lover’s Quarrel as an ARC (advanced reader copy) from the author.