Book Review, Lover’s Quarrel: The Mennonites and Me—a Testimony, by Ken Reed
(reviewed by Daniel L. Bowman, Harrisonburg, VA 22801)
This memoir is the story of a life in the Mennonite world where the author is frustrated with a heritage that cramps his style.
Ken Reed began life as a bare foot Lebanon County Mennonite farm boy who did not like driving tractor. From early childhood he aspired to be a writer. He kept journals and sought work such as driving big combines in the Mid-West wheat fields and logging in the Northwest woods to garner experience for future writing. In college he coproduced a feisty underground student paper named “The Piranha” (so named after a ferocious predator fish of the tropics). By now he has four novels to his credit.
Reed tells us a critic of his first novel, Mennonite Soldier, said it was technically good writing, but it lacked “the language of the soul.”
Lover’s Quarrel certainly has that “language of the soul.” It is especially clear in the last chapter—Chapter 25, Takeaways. Reed is now a wise old man with a gentle spirit. He says: “I began this memoir with a declaration. This is my testimony! Look how the God of the Universe has spoken to this barefoot farm boy from Lebanon County! My story is a rough-and-tumble, forty-year long illustration of Romans 5:8: Here is how God has shown his love. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me." …
Reed’s conservative theology led to his exit from the Haight Ashbury Mennonite Church, but it also led to this:
“The Haight Ashbury Mennonite Fellowship was now focused on sexuality and finding one’s sexual identity, … Jesus rebuked the religious leaders of his day for believing they were special and could exercise their prerogative to decide who God loved and who he hated. … In the same way, He does not permit me to cast judgment on the roles and dreams of those who remained in the Haight Ashbury Mennonite Fellowship…
So in my old age I find I don't have an answer that I can state publicly on the topic of same-sex marriage. … I'm glad Christians have opened up this can of worms. It's not a sign of the Age of Apostasy that we are now talking about a previously taboo topic. It is a sign that we become more Christ-like when we see He attracts people we had written off as hopeless.”
It seems to me In Lovers Quarrel Reed has found the secret to great writing. When writing seeks life in order to have grist for good stories, the result is mediocrity. When writing “testifies” to life, ALL of it, the result is great writing—the language of the soul is heard.
So now, as an old man and a published author, Reed testifies to life by telling us his story in this well-crafted memoir. His characters come alive and real. His concern for accuracy of historical, geographical, and biographical detail grounds his story solidly in reality. The sensitive details of his spiritual pilgrimage are told with candor, honesty, and integrity.
Interestingly, Reed manages to include an explanation of how the Mennonites ended up in Lancaster County rather than in the area that became Harrisburg—they knew good soil.

(I received Lover's Quarrel as an ARC (advanced reader copy) from the author.”

Lover's Quarrel: The Mennonites and Me—A Testimony
by Ken Yoder Reed

Review by Joseph L Lapp, President Emertus Eastern Mennonite University

Lover's Quarrel is the story of the author's life journey from a rural, close-knit religious community to the open communities of education, the arts, and urban living as he searches for his own religious faith, vocation and family. The author engages in extensive personal introspection as he describes the various stages of his life.

I have known Reed as a college classmate, having collaborated on an underground newspaper as we bucked our alma mater's legalism—particularly the college newspaper's censorship. As students, we wanted to break the bonds of the close-knit religious community to learn about the world beyond Mennonite-ism. As someone more widely read than I, Reed, with his excellent gift of words, developed our underground paper into a temporary, successful prod. Within a short time, the censorship barrier was removed for the regular college newspaper.

Persons from close-knit social, cultural, and religious communities will identify with Reed's journey of life. Experiencing the “outside” is frequently necessary for young, exploring adults to know the various opportunities available –the choice of vocation, life partner, sexual preferences, religious faith, etc. Throughout this memoir, Reed speaks of the good and bad choices he made on his journey. When reflecting on the church issues at Haight Ashbury Mennonite Fellowship, Reed is very respectful. Unless a reader is part of the Mennonite world they may not understand the root issue since the author is rather circumspect regarding the specifics.

Though Reed acknowledges he was not comfortable with the choices of Haight Ashbury MF, he also recognizes that “I hadn't left the concerns of the Mennonites behind” particularly when he refers to the current linkage of many Christian churches with the civil/political world. Perhaps it is implicit in Reed's story, I would have welcomed a more explicit discussion of how Christian faith is influenced by culture, community, and family of origin even though we claim a “believer's” decision for faith.

Having known Ken Reed and having read much of his writing, I encourage others to read this memoir. Many baby boomers will find the book to be similar to their own pilgrimage through life. Younger persons may see that their struggles in life are not unique but as old as the world.

I received Lover’s Quarrel as an ARC (advanced reader copy) from the author.